Monday, October 26, 2009

When the Truth Hurts

I had a painful revelation tonight. My good child isn't so good. Don't you hate that?

Thanks to a recent post by my friend Tara at Too Many Kids in the Bathtub, we've started more consistently studying godly character sketches from ATI in the mornings after we do our Sonlight Bible reading. Right now we're working through the booklet on obedience. Today we talked about how important it is to obey our own conscience.

Tonight our 10 year old son had a few things he wanted to get off his chest. First, he admitted to sneaking some time on his Nintendo DS last week. He had traded a bunch of his old games for a new one that he was very excited about and instead of waiting for the weekend like he was supposed to he went ahead and sneaked it. I probably asked him 3 or 4 times what he was doing and each time he lied and made something else up. Ouch. Then after his dad went easier on his punishment since he confessed, he told us he had something else he needed to fess up to. Turns out one of his friends showed him some klay world youtube videos that had bad language and then after his friend was gone he looked at some of them on his own. Again, we were grateful that he admitted this to us, but heartbroken that he did it in the first place when he's not ever supposed to be on the internet without one of us. (We're also thankful that his version of really, really, really bad is klay world.)

Then there's our 3 year old son who has started lying about doing what he is told. He has to be reminded to go potty a lot and now he's started lying about it. He also lied about picking up his room today and when I said, "Ok, let me go check," he knew he was busted and started crying that he would do it. We take lying very seriously at our house and never allow it to go unpunished. After three times in one day, though, I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting through!

Ever get frustrated and feel like you're failing your kids? I know my husband and I will stand before God someday and give an account for how we brought up our children. We so desperately want to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

After our 10 year old confessed his past lies to us tonight I asked him if he remembered what we can do to restore our conscience. He did and I guess that's something. He said, "Read the Bible." I told him that's right that our minds are renewed through the reading of God's Word.

It's hard when trust is broken. I know we only have a short time with our children and soon they'll be walking this path of life on their own. The whole purpose of God's law, after all, is to show us our duty to God and man. And with that comes the revelation that we cannot measure up. The truth hurts. It hurts our pride. It makes us painfully aware of our sin and the gravity of it. It causes us to bear responsibility for separating ourselves from God. The sooner we all come face to face with this bitter pill, the better, because it's in this place of honesty and humility that the grace of God is found and appreciated. For, "the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost," (Luke 19:10) and for that I am eternally grateful!


  1. It does hurt when you find your child(ren) have been lying. We have a chronic liar amongst our 3 youngest and it is SO frustrating. As a parent, I can only do my best and teach them the right way. I can't make my children choose to do the right thing. I can only pray that they will, and be there to lovingly correct them when they do make bad choices.

    How great that your son confessed. That is a blessing.

  2. It's tough when you find out your little ones have lied to you. But the fact that your 10 y/o fessed up is the thing to focus on. He did the right thing (even if at first he lied)

  3. it's heartbreaking when our babies lie...but praise God that he needed to confess...that is a sure sign that God is working in his heart...and leading him down the right path...chin up momma, you're doing a wonderful job!

  4. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the encouragement!

  5. I think it is better for our children to learn lessons about guilt, confession, and restoration when they are young and with us. Especially the 10 year old. He will remember that guilty feeling and the relief once the truth was out. Powerful, altho painful, lessons for all. And he will remember how you handled it as his parents. Keep up the good work and know that God is at work in the lives of your children!

  6. Oh Celee-
    I hear your heart! But remember, your children are being honest with you! And sometimes that is more important than our own expectations of our children! Just as the Lord has those moments with us! You are doing a great job! Stand back and see the fruit that will come from this!

  7. This is a wonderful post. What a blessing to have found your blog (I saw you at the cafe). Last year I decided we'd take a full year off of school and JUST devote our year to building Godly character! What ever "schooly" things we got done would just be icing - our main focus was the heart. It was my most favorite homeschool year EVER!

    Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to come back here and read more!

  8. Thanks, everyone! And Tara, thank you for encouraging me to be more consistent with our character training.

    Laurel, I sometimes wonder if character training isn't a full-time job. It is so hard to fit everything in. We do Bible and character first before history, LA, or science. My hope is that it will help shape our day. I can't say if it's working or not yet:)

  9. Celee, I know how you feel girl. OFTEN actually. I am so grateful God does not leave us empty handed, but gives us His word to guide us. A wonderful book that is completely scriptural on this topic is "Don't make me count to three" by Ginger Plowman. It has been an amazing encouragement to me in my parenting. Last but not least a wonderful Scripture verse that keeps me going is Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

  10. Thanks, Valerie. I need to remember it's God's harvest to reap, don't I?



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I'm an on-the-run mom to 6 kids who studied and taught exercise science in a previous life. I love all things running, nutrition, and health-related. I usually run at zero dark thirty in the morning and am often quite hungry before, during, and after my run, but I live a rich, full, blessed life with my children, family, and friends. My faith in God is my anchor, and looking to Him and His promises allows me to live fully even when life circumstances are difficult. While running gives me an appetite, my desire is to hunger and thirst for righteousness more than for physical food.