Thanks to a recent post by my friend Tara at Too Many Kids in the Bathtub, we've started more consistently studying godly character sketches from ATI in the mornings after we do our Sonlight Bible reading. Right now we're working through the booklet on obedience. Today we talked about how important it is to obey our own conscience.
Tonight our 10 year old son had a few things he wanted to get off his chest. First, he admitted to sneaking some time on his Nintendo DS last week. He had traded a bunch of his old games for a new one that he was very excited about and instead of waiting for the weekend like he was supposed to he went ahead and sneaked it. I probably asked him 3 or 4 times what he was doing and each time he lied and made something else up. Ouch. Then after his dad went easier on his punishment since he confessed, he told us he had something else he needed to fess up to. Turns out one of his friends showed him some klay world youtube videos that had bad language and then after his friend was gone he looked at some of them on his own. Again, we were grateful that he admitted this to us, but heartbroken that he did it in the first place when he's not ever supposed to be on the internet without one of us. (We're also thankful that his version of really, really, really bad is klay world.)
Then there's our 3 year old son who has started lying about doing what he is told. He has to be reminded to go potty a lot and now he's started lying about it. He also lied about picking up his room today and when I said, "Ok, let me go check," he knew he was busted and started crying that he would do it. We take lying very seriously at our house and never allow it to go unpunished. After three times in one day, though, I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting through!
Ever get frustrated and feel like you're failing your kids? I know my husband and I will stand before God someday and give an account for how we brought up our children. We so desperately want to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
After our 10 year old confessed his past lies to us tonight I asked him if he remembered what we can do to restore our conscience. He did and I guess that's something. He said, "Read the Bible." I told him that's right that our minds are renewed through the reading of God's Word.
It's hard when trust is broken. I know we only have a short time with our children and soon they'll be walking this path of life on their own. The whole purpose of God's law, after all, is to show us our duty to God and man. And with that comes the revelation that we cannot measure up. The truth hurts. It hurts our pride. It makes us painfully aware of our sin and the gravity of it. It causes us to bear responsibility for separating ourselves from God. The sooner we all come face to face with this bitter pill, the better, because it's in this place of honesty and humility that the grace of God is found and appreciated. For, "the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost," (Luke 19:10) and for that I am eternally grateful!