I can’t remember where I was first exposed to the term, probably through Vision Forum, but a little over a year ago is when I first heard of a “family-integrated” church. The term sounded strange to me, after all, churches are comprised of families. How could there be any other kind of church? I wondered what in the world a family-integrated church was. This was the beginning of a quest that would change us for the better as a family and as a home school. My husband and I actually embarked on a similar journey from different starting points. He’s a pastor and is always reading books on discipleship, a topic near and dear to his heart. One day he picked up Voddie Baucham’s Family-Driven Faith and then strongly encouraged me to read it. I had been reading family-integrated church books and suddenly our two journeys had converged. You see, it’s impossible to separate the concept of family-integrated church from the necessity of family discipleship and worship. So, my husband and I have continued on our journey together. Reading, talking, experimenting. We’re new to this, so we would welcome your experience in this area and especially the recommendation of any books on the matter that we haven’t yet read.
So far, the books that have influenced me are: Family-Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham, Uniting Church and Home by Eric Wallace, Family-Integrated Church by J. Mark Fox, A Church in the House by Mathew Henry, Family Reformation by Scott T. Brown, Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman, and Already Gone by Ken Ham. I’ve also read various articles from the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches website and there were portions of other books that question why we do church the way we do such as Pagan Christianity (though I do not recommend this book on the whole) that gave me pause to think through this subject.
What is a family-integrated church? I’m sure it can mean a great many things, but I’ll define it as a church that does not separate families when they walk in the door, but rather encourages families to grow and worship together. A family-integrated church can meet in a designated church building, or in a home. In its purest form there would be no age-segregated Sunday school classes or even a nursery. I’m going to admit to you right off the bat that ours is not a family-integrated church, but that my husband and I have made changes in our home and how we do church as a result of our search of what it means to learn and worship as a family. (He has also made some changes at church which I’ll share about later.)
The purpose of this series of posts is to introduce you to the idea of family-integrated church, if you’re not already in the know, and to examine the pros and cons of family-integrated church. Yes, that’s right, I think there are some drawbacks, or at least challenges to this method of worship. I also want to search the Scriptures to see if they are truly as silent as they at first seem to be on this question of church modality. Finally, I want to share my joys and frustrations with you and learn from your experiences, in order to try to wrap our minds around what it actually looks like to study the Bible together and worship as a family.
What is a family-integrated church? I’m sure it can mean a great many things, but I’ll define it as a church that does not separate families when they walk in the door, but rather encourages families to grow and worship together. A family-integrated church can meet in a designated church building, or in a home. In its purest form there would be no age-segregated Sunday school classes or even a nursery. I’m going to admit to you right off the bat that ours is not a family-integrated church, but that my husband and I have made changes in our home and how we do church as a result of our search of what it means to learn and worship as a family. (He has also made some changes at church which I’ll share about later.)
The purpose of this series of posts is to introduce you to the idea of family-integrated church, if you’re not already in the know, and to examine the pros and cons of family-integrated church. Yes, that’s right, I think there are some drawbacks, or at least challenges to this method of worship. I also want to search the Scriptures to see if they are truly as silent as they at first seem to be on this question of church modality. Finally, I want to share my joys and frustrations with you and learn from your experiences, in order to try to wrap our minds around what it actually looks like to study the Bible together and worship as a family.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the subject. I'm curious what you have found in the Bible to support the current church model most churches use.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading, too. We are in a family-integrated church, though we do have nursery (most parents keep their kiddos for the entire service by age 3). My husband and I used to work in children's ministry. It was those years that opened our eyes to how ineffective age-specific programs can be. F-I does have its challenges, but I am so glad to have my kids beside me each Lord's Day.
ReplyDeleteThis will be so exciting to read! Currently my husband and I are at a mega church in SA. There are probably about 17,000 members. It is very easy to become lost there. That is the only church we have ever attended. our children used to go to the children's ministry until about 2 years ago when we felt convicted to worship as a family! Since then, I have been trying to read up on the subject, as I truly do feel this is the more Biblical model of worship! We are just kind of waiting for the Lord to show us where to go from here. I look forward to reading these posts!
ReplyDeleteOoooo, I'm looking forward to this series! Great topic!
ReplyDeletePraise God someone is talking about this. Let me start by saying I have a amazing husband and this no way says anything negative about him. for several years i have asked for our children to worship with us. this sounded crazy to him. When we first moved to AL several homeschool families went to this type (or had) church. a month ago the man in charge of our homeschool group took my husband to lunch and brought this up. I am so excited that when we move in 5 weeks we will be looking for a church that encourages families to stay together
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I felt convicted a little over a year ago to bring all of our children into church with us rather than drop the children off in "their rooms." A few months ago someone recommended Parenting in the Pew and that has been a fantastic read for us. My hubby went to lunch with the pastor last week, who described this as his vision for our church...so we are THRILLED to have his support (his wife has always brought their children into church also). We have noticed more and more families in our church doing the same thing, and we love it! The best part for me has not been teaching my kids how to sit still and behave, but how to join in worship on God's special day. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so cool to know that we are not the only ones excited about this!
ReplyDeleteOh no, you are not the only ones excited about this topic! I love this topic. Probably because it has made a difference in other areas of our lives besides church. First off, my child was the one who helped us pursue a family integrated church. She couldn't stand all the lights (yes my previous church, that I did love, had disco lights on the ceiling). She also was intimated by all the children running around playing air hockey, foosball(sp?), dance dance revolution and singing to loud (christian) rock music. My daughter was extremely uncomfortable and BEGGED to go to church with me. I took her a few times and found myself annoyed with her twitching. I denied her coming with me again after only two times in church. She had not even disobeyed me, she just took away from my "enjoyment" of church. Needless to say God saw fit to teach my husband and I differently. It would be a much longer comment if I told all about how God changed all of that for my husband and I, but I can say that my husband and I, now and FOREVER, will see our children as PART of our worship and learning "experience" not a distraction from it. We have been bringing out children into church with us for 6 months now. It is right up there on that list of some of the best decisions we have made as a family. It has trained our children to sit still for an hour (a thing I thought only possible in fiction), brought us closer, made me more secure as a parent and leader for my children, and lastly but not least, has shown my husband what it means to be a Father who disciples his children. So sorry I wrote a book instead of a comment :)
ReplyDeleteWe, also, have read all those books that you have listed. Our favorite was Family-Driven Faith. It is also our strong conviction to have the children present with us during worship. Our family worship times help to prepare us all for worship on Sunday mornings because the children have to sit still for an extended period of time twice a day. One of the most helpful pieces of advice was given to me by Kendra Fletcher over at www.preschoolersandpeace.com. I was pregnant with our 5th child and was having trouble holding my youngest one still (16-18 months at the time) and she recommended that I use a high chair. What an amazing difference that made!!! Since my husband pastors a small church (18 members) we were able to sit a high chair in the back of the auditoriam to help me as I held the next youngest child still.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that I have been thinking about alot. My church is going through some transitions and this is one thing I would like to learn more about.
ReplyDeleteThe church we used to attend in Nj was sort-of a family integrated church, meaning the family could all worsip together and were welcome to always do so, however, there were sunday school classes available for people who felt they needed or desired it. I loved it, esp during hymn sing time :)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your posts. We keep our children in church with us, but we are the only ones, except for the visiting families that prefer to keep their children with them. I often think people might think we are strange, but I can't see any other way to worship than as a family and together.
ReplyDeleteOur church has separate SS classes and Wedesday night Bible classes, but no nursery. Parents keep their babies/toddlers with them in their adult Bible classes and worship service. Our classes meet for 40 minutes, then we all have a worship service together. Our congregation is about 80-90 people on Sunday mornings.
ReplyDeleteI believe that we are commanded to come together and worship God, but I also believe that our church worship times are just for that....worshiping God, not entertaining the people. I also believe that it is the parent's responsiblity to teach and train their child--spiritually, we are not to rely on our church's classes to do that.
Have a super day!
Should be interesting. I look forward to reading your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAs one who has taught Sunday School for a group that ranged from 4yo-6th grade, I will say that there are huge benefits to "segregating" at least part of the teaching time to better address children where they are. [smile]
~Luke
Luke- I can definitely relate since I teach a Scripture memory class on Wed nights at our church with 4-12 yr olds. But surely the Bible can be taught to kids of different ages as easily as your Sonlight cores can be:) That's one of the reasons I love Sonlight so much.
ReplyDelete